I Still Remember You
By Kim Saeed
You disappeared so long ago
a slow, painful deliverance.
Your voice was silenced and you became invisible
as you vanished into your captor.
He bled your soul into his veins;
Because he can never be autonomous
He can never be you.
So he stole your spirit and made it his own.
A thousand years became a minute
You dwelled in purgatory, until…
You heard a voice
The voice you silenced
It said, I am still here…
So while no one was looking, you escaped through his laughter
Raw and vulnerable, afraid to be seen.
You hid under a dark cloud
His presence ever-ominous.
Afraid that no one would see you;
that no one would receive you
For you believe you’re not worthy
But, you are worthy.
I still remember you
I see you…not the cloud
I see your beautiful soul
I see the memories of you…the life and laughter you laid to rest
Your kindness, your potential, the contributions you made.
They were there all along
They never went away.
You were blinded…coded to erase yourself
You died to make him alive.
And he can’t survive without your soul
Take it back
Share with us your light…the gift that is you
Because I still remember you…
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Drowning in the pain I’m so Lost it hurts and hurts
You lied for over a. Decade
Trying to find the light, these wounds seem so deep and permanent
It is hell that constantly burns
***But, you are worthy.
I still remember you***
gorgeous & powerful. xxx
That brought tears to my eyes – my soul,my love,my ex.
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oh.my.gosh. I’m not alone. <3
No you’re not…<3
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Reblogged this on MadeleineMaya.
amazing words! the silky pace kept me hanging on to each word. excellent piece!
Thank you 🙂
This is great Kim! I reblogged it!
Thanks! 😀
Reblogged this on Army of Angels and commented:
Recovering after ambient abuse is a journey that has taken me through the fire. Finding my voice was the most precious part of recovery, mostly because it had disappeared without me noticing!
Reblogged this on Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed and commented:
For all of you who are struggling to leave your abuser, and for those who are having a hard time with No Contact. I wrote this with you in mind…
Reblogged this on Gorgeous and commented:
spooky this is me
Wow that could have been written for me
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It is very descriptive of what it is like to be stuck to the flypaper of a controlling relationship. Once you get one arm free, using your foot to pry yourself off, your foot is now stuck. It took me years to get out. I thought I was free but I don’t know if I will ever be now.
I know the feeling…I’m not sure if I’ve shared this with you, but I have been divorced a year and a half, been remarried, and I’m still not free, mainly because my Ex and I have a son together. He uses this as an excuse to stick his foot in at every opportunity under the guise of asking about our son. It’s a nightmare…Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day from Hell…
Ya, a little Groundhog day mixed in with a little of that movie with Michael Douglas and the crazy stalker girl, only it would be the other way around. The stalker would be the guy, getting in the middle of the happiness of the wife and her new husband. Can’t remember the name of the movie but that is what I kinda relate my ex to, he would go to any lengths to either keep me or make sure I found no happiness with anyone else. It’s kinda funny but not really.
Fatal Attraction…my Ex is like the Glenn Close character, too, minus the homicidal tendency…loves himself too much… 😀
Um, literally. I lost my ‘l.’
I don’t know if you got this when I sent it the first time because I didn’t see it under your comments. It might help for you to read this site:
http://www.new-holistic-medicine.com/Narcissistic-Abuse.html
It’s written from a male perspective. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Thank you so much! I have been experiencing a bit of a time crisis today (we always seem to be in crisis mode around here), but I wanted to let you know I’ve seen your comments and appreciate them very much. I’m excited to read the link after I pick the kids up from school.
I read the article, and it does help. 🙂
So well said! I recently experienced that moment, when the voice says, “I’m still here.” Actually, it iterally said, “I’ve come back for you.” I was walking around the neighborhood when it came out, so I felt a little embarrassed!
I can see you are in the middle of a very difficult struggle to reclaim yourself and change the situation. Just remember, you DON’T have to be a puppet on a string. You are NOT bad. You ARE worthy. You CAN change the situation.
Perhaps I should try a reminder bracelet.
Here, try this…
http://infjoe.wordpress.com/2013/03/04/snap-out-of-it/
ha! perfect.
A lovely poem, so poignant to my life right now. Exquisite painting also
Kim, wow. What a beautiful poem. It is definitely one of those live poems that touches your soul. Wonderful job.
Thank you, my friend…
Reblogged this on It won't always be bad… and commented:
thank you for this. it says a lot for me. 😀
I’m glad you like it…thanks for the re-blog <3
: )
What a beautiful image to go with these beautiful words.
Thank you 🙂
beautifulwriter stole my thoughts. Fantastic image, fantastic words.
It is so on point hey Navigator! I held my breath..
Yes, I can see that “breathtaking” would not be an exaggeration.
Thanks…that really means a lot.
[ Smiles ] This is a pleasant surprise, Kim. I had no idea that you were a poetess.
I used to write poems, once upon a time…nothing like spiritual transformation to uncover buried dreams 🙂