Your beautiful soul

I Still Remember You

By Kim Saeed

You disappeared so long ago

a slow, painful deliverance.

Your voice was silenced and you became invisible

as you vanished into your captor.

He bled your soul into his veins;

Because he can never be autonomous

He can never be you.

So he stole your spirit and made it his own.

A thousand years became a minute

You dwelled in purgatory, until…

You heard a voice

The voice you silenced

It said, I am still here…

So while no one was looking, you escaped through his laughter

Raw and vulnerable, afraid to be seen.

You hid under a dark cloud

His presence ever-ominous.

Afraid that no one would see you;

that no one would receive you

For you believe you’re not worthy

But, you are worthy.

I still remember you

I see you…not the cloud

I see your beautiful soul

I see the memories of you…the life and laughter you laid to rest

Your kindness, your potential, the contributions you made.

They were there all along

They never went away.

You were blinded…coded to erase yourself

You died to make him alive.

And he can’t survive without your soul

Take it back

Share with us your light…the gift that is you

Because I still remember you…

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Comments

  1. Sue

    Drowning in the pain I’m so Lost it hurts and hurts
    You lied for over a. Decade

    Trying to find the light, these wounds seem so deep and permanent
    It is hell that constantly burns

  2. leesa

    That brought tears to my eyes – my soul,my love,my ex.

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  5. Reblogged this on Army of Angels and commented:
    Recovering after ambient abuse is a journey that has taken me through the fire. Finding my voice was the most precious part of recovery, mostly because it had disappeared without me noticing!

  6. Kim Saeed

    Reblogged this on Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed and commented:

    For all of you who are struggling to leave your abuser, and for those who are having a hard time with No Contact. I wrote this with you in mind…

  7. Pingback: Are You Offering Yourself Up to Count Narcula? | Kim Saeed's Let Me Reach

  8. Mia Amoure

    It is very descriptive of what it is like to be stuck to the flypaper of a controlling relationship. Once you get one arm free, using your foot to pry yourself off, your foot is now stuck. It took me years to get out. I thought I was free but I don’t know if I will ever be now.

    1. Kim Raya

      I know the feeling…I’m not sure if I’ve shared this with you, but I have been divorced a year and a half, been remarried, and I’m still not free, mainly because my Ex and I have a son together. He uses this as an excuse to stick his foot in at every opportunity under the guise of asking about our son. It’s a nightmare…Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day from Hell…

      1. Mia Amoure

        Ya, a little Groundhog day mixed in with a little of that movie with Michael Douglas and the crazy stalker girl, only it would be the other way around. The stalker would be the guy, getting in the middle of the happiness of the wife and her new husband. Can’t remember the name of the movie but that is what I kinda relate my ex to, he would go to any lengths to either keep me or make sure I found no happiness with anyone else. It’s kinda funny but not really.

        1. Kim Raya

          Fatal Attraction…my Ex is like the Glenn Close character, too, minus the homicidal tendency…loves himself too much… 😀

      1. Thank you so much! I have been experiencing a bit of a time crisis today (we always seem to be in crisis mode around here), but I wanted to let you know I’ve seen your comments and appreciate them very much. I’m excited to read the link after I pick the kids up from school.

  9. So well said! I recently experienced that moment, when the voice says, “I’m still here.” Actually, it iterally said, “I’ve come back for you.” I was walking around the neighborhood when it came out, so I felt a little embarrassed!

    1. Kim Raya

      I can see you are in the middle of a very difficult struggle to reclaim yourself and change the situation. Just remember, you DON’T have to be a puppet on a string. You are NOT bad. You ARE worthy. You CAN change the situation.

  10. Alma

    Kim, wow. What a beautiful poem. It is definitely one of those live poems that touches your soul. Wonderful job.

  11. bombladoze

    Reblogged this on It won't always be bad… and commented:
    thank you for this. it says a lot for me. 😀

  12. idiotwriter

    What a beautiful image to go with these beautiful words.

    1. navigator1965

      beautifulwriter stole my thoughts. Fantastic image, fantastic words.

      1. idiotwriter

        It is so on point hey Navigator! I held my breath..

        1. navigator1965

          Yes, I can see that “breathtaking” would not be an exaggeration.

  13. Renard Moreau

    [ Smiles ] This is a pleasant surprise, Kim. I had no idea that you were a poetess.

    1. Kim Raya

      I used to write poems, once upon a time…nothing like spiritual transformation to uncover buried dreams 🙂

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