Narcissism for Beginners – A Hand Guide: Part One
Greetings newcomers! Finding a good source of supply is difficult, time-consuming, and entails exhibiting human emotions that are considered desirable in a romantic relationship. Although this is highly bothersome and a huge drain on your egoistic activities, you will enjoy a big return on little investment. These are tried and true tactics from contributors who’ve experienced years of successful supply acquisition. Learn how narcissists think in this handy guide.
How Narcissists Think
Part One of the guide covers the traits, behaviors, and physical descriptors of targets that make excellent sources of Narcissistic supply. This seems to be a perpetual concern since Narcissists, as a demographic, want to ensure they find the best supply with the least possible effort. Increase your chances on the first attempt so you can resume important priorities such as avoiding employment and adult obligations, shopping for the latest clothes and accessories, serial adultery, and travel/entertainment on your target’s dime. With the right approach, it’s possible that you can go months, or even years, without paying your own property taxes, car payments, or utilities. Watch your bank account grow as you swindle your source of supply out of their last nickel!
*Throughout the guide, there are references to human emotions that Narcissists are not familiar with. In order to give you the benefit of mimicking these emotions, we’ve included some handy footnotes for reference.
Traits – Always Judge a Book by Its Cover
When selecting a source of supply, you should choose one that is at least a few steps above you on the social ladder. This means they should have more education, income, and property than you. While Narcissists innately couldn’t care less about their supply as an individual, these traits will make you look great by association. Imagine introducing them to your circle of friends…they will swoon over your ability to ensnare someone of such high caliber. And, you’ll really look put together at company parties (assuming you choose to work; it’s good for appearance’s sake).
Where might you find these golden eggs, you ask? Since sources of supply are of high intelligence, they can be found working as managers at your local bank, reading intently at Barnes & Noble, or in executive departments of most Fortune 500 companies. As they also tend to be creative and passionate, other examples of prime supply include teachers, artists, and entrepreneurs. If in doubt, look into their eyes. The best sources of supply look honest, decent, and genuine. These traits will ensure they will try to stick around, even when the relationship has seen better days, because these types want to believe they’ve given you their all in an effort to secure your love and affection. These unsuspecting targets actually believe you are capable of these emotions. It’s enough to make one feel sad, if we were capable of compassion .
Behaviors – Higher Morals = Higher Profits: Financial and Tangential
When on the prowl for good supply, you will want to secure one of high morals. This means they will be very generous with not only their money and time, but also forgiveness. Making sure your target is of high moral values ensures your ability to live your life in the manner of an individual who is single, while reaping the benefits of having a devoted partner. Advantages of this include: not making contributions to the shared residence, coming and going any time you please, the ability to retain a lover or two on the side, and not caring about your source’s welfare. These types also tend to be caretakers, ensuring you’ll never have to bother with mundane tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or laundry. It also maintains your freedom to preen, plot, and party. Partners with high morals will initially display disdain at these behaviors, but over time will develop a saint’s tolerance for them. It’s a win-lose situation…you can thank us later!
Physical Descriptors – It’s Not The Kill, it’s The Thrill of the Chase…Uhmmm, Actually, It IS The Kill
Nothing shouts triumph more than claiming victory over an attractive specimen. After all, it’s only through the slow, deliberate destruction of their self-esteem that we can experience the ultimate gratification. In other words, only through making them feel black as coal can we shine like a diamond. Better yet, when they turn co-dependent, you can humiliate them in public places. There’s no greater high, well except maybe flaunting a would-be lover in their face, but that will be covered later.
Narcissists place emphasis on physical appearance, and not merely for the “trophy factor” one might expect. Narcissists are interested in attractive partners partly because they believe such targets may be most susceptible to their ploys! The interest of a great-looking target is piqued because such targets are so used to being approached through flattery. The better-looking the target, the more insistent you must be, and the higher the high when you bring them down.
Look for Part Two, where we will cover the basics of ensnaring your supply like a pro!
 Love – a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; a person you love in a romantic way (outside observations will be necessary)
 Affection – a feeling of liking and caring for someone (look it up on YouTube or something)
 Sad – affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness (you will witness this emotion a lot from your source of supply; no need to take outside notes)
 Compassion – sympathetic awareness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it (I got nothin’; watch a Disney Movie)