signs of energy vampires

Are You Offering Yourself Up to Count Narcula?

The art of narcissistic abuse is about the skill in making the victim offer himself up to abuse” ~ Kathy Krajco

One of the most common questions asked by targets of Narcissistic abuse is, “Why have I stayed so long?”

If and when targets find the strength and wherewithal to leave, they must come to terms with the fact that they offered themselves to their abuser for years before coming to their senses.  This coming-to-the-senses isn’t easy.  It’s not that victims enjoy their plight.  After all, no one would willingly choose to stay in a relationship where their identity and soul slowly erode over time until they find themselves a prime candidate for “The Walking Dead”, reality-style.

What people on the outside don’t understand is that Narcissists are sadistic, malicious parasites who have one goal…to find a host and feed off of them indefinitely.  However, since the general population tends to have a huge beef with this scenario, the Narcissist has to find a suitable host they can coax into  a hypnotic trance so they will, in turn, offer up their pulsing veins to the evil Count Narcula. In most cases, the best hosts tend to be nurturing, empathic, and Highly Sensitive.  These types have an aura around them that Count Narcula can detect with his evil, innate Narcula powers.

Remember the damsels in the olden Nosh-feratu movies who sought out their evil master and offered up their necks for a tasty chomp?  That’s the same scenario that plays out in a relationship with a Narcissist.  Only, the modern-day Narcula prefers the bleeding of their victim’s self-worth, confidence, success, finances, property, children, etc.  There is nothing more satisfying to Narcula than to have his victim return to him over and over and offer themselves up for a suck-fest.  Some victims have reported that their abuser looked to be high on heroin just from the pleasure that coursed through the abuser’s veins after putting a soul-killing smack down on them.

This proves how evil, malignant, and malicious Narcissists are.  Their ultimate pleasure in life is having power and control – and ultimately, total consummation – over a person who represents everything they can never be.  While I’ve used a lot of symbolism in this post, it’s very close to the truth.

If you have found yourself under the hypnotic lure of Count Narcula, the first thing you need to do is go No Contact.  As long as you keep one crack open, Narcula will hold you under his or her hypnotic spell.  Unless you enjoy being walking, talking raw hamburger, you should consider taking No Contact seriously.  Don’t be a willing pawn in Narcula’s psychological killing spree.  Otherwise, you WILL become a real-life zombie with sponge-for-brains, stumbling through life aimlessly.

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  1. Sandy

    This was an amazing read, thank you…I actually laughed till I cried. Your wittiness was the absolute best. I haven’t laughed in so long that it felt wonderful. I’m just getting out of a a Count Narcula relationship and everything you say is spot on. I will continue to read your posts as I have learned a great deal about myself and my Count Narcula…Thank you for making me smile and laugh again! ?

    1. Kim Saeed

      Hi Sandy!

      Ha ha! I had forgotten all about this post. I re-read it, and it was kind of funny 🙂 I think I’ll share it today. I’m glad you got a good kick out of it!



      1. lovisala

        fine to share articles, even old ones, there is coming so many new victims all the time

  2. Violet

    As I sit, here, torturing myself over my Count Narco again tonight, wondering why I have been getting the silent treatment for weeks at a time..whether i should or should not apologize for whatever it was I did or didn’t do THIS TIME..I’m beginning to understand your description of feeling like raw hamburger..and a walking, talking Zombie and it just hit me really hard. .

    1. DA

      I’m an ENFJ, and my husband, Count Narc, is an ESTJ. My ex, also a narc, was an ISTP. My mother, likewise a narc, is an ISTP. Just my personal experiences…your mileage may vary.

      1. Kim Saeed

        DA, at some point, it would certainly be interesting to research the MBTIs of Narcissists 🙂 Thanks for this useful information!

  3. Maria Elena

    Do you think they can ever change? In retrospect now four years later, I feel like I completely missed the signs that my Narc was a total Narcula but as I now reflect back on the more recent times he still treated me terribly and sucked the life and soul and spirit and love and joy out of me but he seems to be a much better dad now, a kinder boss, and even really thoughtful to his wife who previously he described as the devil incarnate. But to me, he is even worse than ever. I feel like he did not just shatter me in every regard but he also actually used me to become a better person for everyone else in his life which makes me feel even more rage about what happened. Of course I should be happy if he did ‘recover’ so that there is one less Narcula in the world but it feels so unfair that I helped him grow and learn and become a better person and everyone else in his life gets to benefit from it while i am stuck licking my wounds and struggling mightily to release my anger toward him and upset with my self.

    1. Kim Saeed

      Maria, are you saying that you’ve been separated from this guy for four years? What’s your relationship with him now? You said he is worse than ever to you now…do you two share custody of children?

      It’s very possible that what you are seeing as a transformation on his part is simply part of a scheme to maintain a certain image. Narcissists cannot change, based on: my own experiences, the experiences of my followers, the research I’ve done, and now knowing why Narcissists come into our lives. The only way someone can change is if they are not a Narcissist. Based on the little info I have of your situation, I would say he wants you to believe he is “good” to everyone else around him and that somehow there is something about you that he cannot tolerate. There could be other people in his life he is treating the same way.

      I was in the same place you are a couple of years ago. It takes a lot of consistent effort to heal ourselves. It requires making the conscious effort to participate in specific activities on a daily basis. For me, I didn’t get any relief from visiting counselors and took things into my own hands. For me, the things that have helped the most include alternative therapies such as: Guided meditations, therapeutic-grade essential oils, binaural beats, and harp healing, to name a few.

      The biggest things I would recommend to start would be to turn your focus onto yourself, learn emotional release methods, and guided meditations.

  4. Elisabeth

    This is something intriguing: My ex narc boyfriend usually prefers to go out at night and sleeps the whole morning (which he can do because he works, as he says, “when and if he wants to work”). At night, it is always oddly hard for him to fall asleep, but he miraculously begins to sleep the moment the first weak rays of sunlight enter through the window. That is why he always goes to bed very late, around 2 a.m. or later, and even then, he doesn’t manage to fall asleep until around 6-7:00 a.m. I have always thought about his unusual sleep patterns and compared them to a vampire’s.

    It was just a comparison but now after reading your article Kim I think this could be more than a coincidence. Maybe the legend of the vampires is based on something that actually happened in some similar way in history? Or is it a type of human that even though doesn’t feed on blood nowadays, preserves the same analogy? There are many similarities, excluding the blood, or maybe the blood is the symbol for the “life force” of the victim?! Because they are masters in sucking our life force.

    So now about garlic, I don’t know if this is also a coincidence but I never bought garlic during the time we were living together. Recently I bought garlic. It was just a week ago, and since then, he hasn’t come back as often (before, it wasn’t more than four days and there he was back knocking at my door saying he missed me). Last time I let him in, he was very uncomfortable in my house, constantly saying he had to go, and angry, with no reason (the garlic was there). So let’s see if the garlic works in keeping him away from me for a long time…

  5. Elisabeth

    In fact, he literally “spits” at me when I set a new boundary unexpectedly. Instead of being humble, and thinking about what he has done wrong. I have told his friends and family several times that he is really malicious on the inside, but they don’t believe it because he always has this friendly, nice and peaceful man public face for his friends and acquantainces. At worst, they think he is just not very intelligent or just unwise in relationships. I insist he is not just a “fool”, he has something evil inside him because a fool wouldn’t treat people who love him the way he does. I really wish his friends and everybody who knows him know him one day for who he truly is, the devil in disguise. I’m not being critical, I’m the person who has had more faith in finding his “good nature”, and haven’t succeed, no matter how much I’ve tried to find some piece of humanity in him.

    1. Anonymous

      Wow….I totally understand. Mine spit too. Would actually spit in my face, like an uncontrollable nutjob. He would put on a good show for everyone. But I seen the real him. The more I read and hear about others experiences the sicker it makes me.

  6. I just took that test yesterday at humanmetrics, and guess what? INFJ! And today this acronym had meaning when I saw it on your category menu… Unbelievably fascinating explanation of my past nightmare life! Thank you so much, Kim!

    1. Kim Saeed

      Thank you! They do seem to have a particular preference for INFJs!

  7. beth

    What do the acronyms stand for? I’m clueless. Also, not sure if there is a spot for questions? I have to use my phone to view & post to this website and navigation is a little difficult. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

  8. Lissa Johnston (@trying2write)

    Narcissism is similar to other personality traits, disorders, and forgive me, even diseases or syndromes that at first glance seem to be growing in leaps and bounds recently. But when you look back on various behaviors in the past, you start finding instances of it everywhere that were plainly overlooked or misdiagnosed. Forewarned is forearmed!

    1. Kim Saeed

      Lissa, yes…Narcissism does seem to be spreading like a resistant strain of bird flu.

      Looking back, as you said, the flags were always there. The old me didn’t know how to establish healthy boundaries. I had the typical co-dependent personality. Wish I knew then what I know now…but I guess it’s all part of the journey. I like your comment, “Forewarned is forearmed”. 🙂

  9. navigator1965

    Still reading, and still enjoying. Thanks, Kim.

  10. As usual, a funny and spot on post! Life with a narc did turn me into an exhausted zombie, just getting through the day. Life is so much brighter without this soul-vampire in it.

    1. Kim Saeed

      Indeed, we are so focused on just surviving from sun-up to sun-down, we have no room to consider anything else…

    1. Kim Saeed

      Me, too, Paula…and HSP, as well. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  11. Aiming for Simplicity

    Don’t forget the countess Narcula, an equally poisonous breed.

    1. Kim Saeed

      Indeed…Countess is just as evil! Sometimes more so…

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