Q&A Tuesday

Dear Kim – Energy Healing after Narcissistic Abuse

Dear Kim,

I left a 14 year marriage to a Narcissist.  I started seeing a counselor several months before I left, and the visits have been helpful, but I feel that I am nowhere near full recovery.  I’ve been divorced almost two years now, and I wonder if I will ever be back to my old self.  I’m much better than when I first left, but why is it taking so long?  What can I do to bring my recovery full circle?  I’ve already been working on setting boundaries, self-esteem and self-forgiveness, but there must be more because I still feel somewhat lost.



Dear Jessica,

First, thank you for trusting me with your question and for reading my blog.

Narcissistic abuse recovery usually takes more than visits to the therapist’s office, especially for a long-term situation such as yours.  Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a lot of benefit to seeing a counselor, though it’s difficult to find one that’s familiar with this specific type of abuse.  To date, I still haven’t found one in my area, and I’ve seen several.  However, if you’ve found a good one, I would recommend continuing treatment.  You may also want to consider finding one that specializes in trauma recovery, Emotional Release Therapy, Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome, and/or energy healing.

Now, on to why you haven’t fully recovered.  The nature of the relationship with a Narcissist puts us into a very specific role of giver, while the Narcissist is the taker.  On top of that, we are disrespected, taken advantage of, mistreated, cheated on, stolen from, etc.  But because we’ve been essentially brainwashed by our disordered partner, we suppress our emotions in order for the relationship to endure.  These repressed emotions include fear, anxiety, insecurity, anger, helplessness, loneliness, jealousy, and so on.  We keep the brunt of these emotions inside of us, until layer upon layer builds up.  These are all negative feelings when they come out, so imagine what happens when we keep them inside!

Most of us already have layers of unresolved, repressed emotions that have accumulated during our lifetime before we even meet the Narcissist.  Then, when we enter into a relationship with them, we are emotionally assaulted beyond what anyone can bear.  As a result, not only do our emotional and physical bodies become diseased, our soul and psyche become damaged due to being in a constant state of resistance and non-acceptance.  By all accounts, the Narcissist invades our very subconscious, as well as our energy system.  That’s why the aftermath is so difficult, because people don’t realize that recovery must take place on the mental, physical, and spiritual levels.

My approach to recovery is holistic, which involves all the components I listed above.  It’s very important that we practice the art of extreme self-care to include practices such as:

  • Guided meditations – to help heal the subconscious, halt negative inner dialogue, and raise vibrational levels
  • Healing recipes and essential oils – to rid our bodies of physical and emotional toxins, and heal disease
  • Binaurals – for personal growth, relaxation, and/or spiritual practice and to raise our energetic vibrational levels
  • Energy healing – such as Reiki and Chakra alignment; to heal our energy fields
  • Spirituality – whether it’s God, the Universe, or a combination of both; to bring us to a higher plane of enlightenment and oneness

There is more to healing our whole being (like Yoga and emotional release), but these are the main ones that I include on my blog.

In order to truly recover from Narcissistic abuse, it’s crucial that we practice the above steps on a regular basis.  That’s why there are a lot of people who never really heal after Narcissistic abuse.  They might read suggestions, then shrug their shoulders and head back to the forums while they wait for their next therapy appointment.  However, until we make the conscious, repeated effort to address all levels of recovery, we will never fully heal.  

Many people have experience tremendous help through The Essential No Contact Bootcamp

Do you have a burning question about your partner’s dubious behaviors?  Submit them to support@letmereach.com and your question will be entered into our database and considered for a future publication. 

No Contact Coaching & Mentoring services are available.  Click here to learn more.

© Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach, 2014


  1. I live with eldery man he gies quiet reads when i talj to.him silent butvtaljs to.other ppl ppl say i talk for him he lies plays victim

  2. Surayya

    Okay I read about meditation ,Reiki an more as very helpful. Can anyone tell me how do i get info on all these helpful tips. How do I do meditation, Reiki

  3. Shawn

    Thank you for this. I have been doing some. I need to incorporate the others.

    1. Kim Saeed

      Thank you for commenting, Shawn. These techniques helped me tremendously.

  4. Pingback: Feel Like You Were Brainwashed by the Narcissist? | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

  5. MHT

    I am six weeks out of a relationship with a very malignant narcissist. Luckily, I work with a Reiki master and took Reiki 2 when I was at my worst with anxiety and PTSD; I hadn’t slept in weeks. I can not believe the difference the attunement made for me. I finished and went home and slept so peacefully. The first time in years as I always had anxiety at night. The PTSD attack was gone!! I have been storing Reiki up for today as we have a hearing for the emergency OP I received six weeks ago. I am most scared of seeing the N for the first time and because he tried to file a counter OP on me – all lies and projections of course! But I hate the idea of walking into a court room and him possibly assault and abuse some more, within the court setting. The judge seems to have his number as he wrote me some very scary psycho sexual emails, which the judge read. I really enjoy your blog!! And I would HIGHLY recommend energy work to anyone that has experienced trauma.

    1. Kim Saeed

      MHT, I can totally relate to how you felt. I had a custody hearing last month, and it was very overwhelming to be in the room with the Ex and his sister, who also verbally abused and harassed me…but, all went very well.

      Thank you for sharing the information about Reiki. I agree that energy healing is ESSENTIAL when recovering from Narcissistic abuse, but sadly, not a lot of people will commit to do the work it takes to completely heal. Kudos to you for doing what it takes and embracing reality!

  6. Pingback: Aromatherapy and Meditation: Essential Steps in Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

  7. Alicia

    Hello Kim,
    I agree 100%! It takes more than counseling or therapy. Please, don’t get me wrong those are very important steps. First to get out and get help. I think Jennifer may be ready for another level in her recovery. You must keep seeking ways to heal or you may stay stuck. And yes it’s important to find the right therapist, I’m finding that difficult too. I wasn’t in my relationship as long as many others so I cannot even imagine the trauma that people who have stayed with a narcissist many years & have children with them.
    While in recovery, it’s important to know why you stayed in a relationship perhaps codependency issues. Childhood trauma and codependency are mine issues. Whatever the reason may be, do your best to get to the root of it. This can be very hard to face but it’s important to do so. Our recovery takes lots of work and lots of steps to get any peace back, feel good about yourself again, forgive yourself and know that you are good.
    I admire you Kim for how you have sought out ways to continue your recovery and enjoy your journey while recovering. It’s helped me to try new things, meditation being one, I’ve never been into meditation but I’m trying!
    Thank you for your website it is helping so many!!!

  8. Excellent advice, Kim. Thank you! I’m looking at starting a support network in my community – possibly via Meet Up where people can at least release their stories and heal together.
    I have found a buddy through your blog actually and I’ve found her help and constant support invaluable. (Hopefully she has found the same!!) I’m starting to think if it doesn’t exist, we need to create it coz this is a worldwide issue.
    Any suggestions? How can we encourage more therapists to have a focus in this area? Or if they don’t exist, how can we share our resources and what’s worked for us in an open way so we can help each other?
    I love your blog!! Thanks again, Kim!
    Sarah x

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