Aromatherapy and Meditation: Essential in Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

Recovery from narcissistic and emotional abuse is an investment.  It takes repeated, conscious effort (and often, money) over the long term.  There isn’t a magical phrase or one-time action that will help one heal from Narcissistic abuse. 

If our bodies are out of shape, we need to exercise at least three to four days a week in order to get fit.  The same concept applies to getting our traumatized spirits and souls “into shape”.

When we first learn we’ve been the target of an emotional manipulator, such as a Narcissist, we spend a lot of time reading and educating ourselves about the manipulative dynamics of disordered personalities.  This is helpful because it helps us to understand why our abuser did and said the things they did, as well as to realize that nothing they said about us was really true.

However, as much as I encourage the need for educating oneself by reading about NPD and other personality disorders, there comes a time when such research should cease and, instead, turn one’s attention to recovery methods that are mandatory to enhance and enable the healing process.

But before I go into those, let me explain why reading alone does not heal us from Narcissistic abuse.

When we read, watch television, or interact with other people, we do so using our conscious minds.  But did you know that some neuroscientists estimate that as much as 98 percent or more of all brain activity is completely unconscious?  What that means to us is that most of our decisions and thought processes are performed with our subconscious mind, outside of our conscious awareness.  So, when we learn about personality disorders, we cognitively understand the material, but it doesn’t fully address the subconscious mind where stored or forgotten memories and suppressed emotions reside.  Enter aromatherapy and guided meditations.

Lavender and Oil


In order to access and release emotional trauma, we must stimulate the amygdala.  One way to do this is through the sense of smell.  The emotional part of our brains doesn’t respond to information obtained through reading, talking, or watching TV or videos.  Our sense of smell is directly related to emotions that have been stored, often as far back as childhood.

Smell is the only one of our five senses that is directly linked to the lobe of the brain that houses our emotions.  Along with all positive emotions, negative emotions such as fear, anger, depression, and anxiety originate from this area.  This explains why the scent of an apple pie baking might remind us of Thanksgiving at our Grandmother’s house, resulting in feelings of nostalgia and comfort. 

It’s also why certain smells can trigger deeply buried fears and trauma, such as those experienced with PTSD or C-PTSD.

Essential oils allow us to access these buried emotions and memories so that we can accept and release them.  Emotions are energy moving within our bodies, which work at a faster speed than our thoughts.  Words in a book, as well as pictures, can take a few minutes to process, whereas a smell can evoke a memory in mere milliseconds.

Suppressed emotions and memories can lead to anxiety, panic attacks, and depression.  Essential oils can help us surface and release these negative emotions from wherever they are stored in our cells or energy field.  They are especially effective when used in conjunction with other healing modalities such as energy healing and massage therapy.

Guided Meditations

Guided Meditations

If we were abused, neglected, or unloved during childhood or within an emotionally abusive relationship, over time our subconscious mind accepts these events as truth about who we are.  Worse, we often carry around these feelings of unworthiness without understanding why.  This manifests in the form of low self-esteem, codependency, depression, and other lower states of consciousness.

In order to lessen or eliminate these unconscious beliefs and feelings of low self-worth, we have to “retrain our brain”.  Just as it took a while for us to accept lies as truth, it will take time for us to reverse this process.  Guided meditations are an effective and easy way to do this.

I recommend the use of guided meditations at any time of day, but especially at bedtime.  This not only relaxes you and prepares you for a good night’s sleep; the meditation will still benefit you even if you fall asleep.

Recommended:  A Journey to Heal Your Inner Child

Choosing which meditations you prefer are a matter of personal choice.  I personally enjoy both guided meditations and binaural beats, depending on what I’m trying to achieve.  Some people are sensitive to binaurals, so you’ll want to test them out first to see if they’re a good fit for you.  Meditations are not only beneficial for healing the psyche, but also for repairing DNA, manifesting, and realigning the Chakras.  

**Standard Disclaimer:  The content provided is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. If you believe you may have a condition, please seek qualified professional care.

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  2. NYC girl

    Which specific e/os stimulate the amygdala, and which soothe it?

    1. Kim Saeed

      Hi NYC girl. Any of the following would be good ones to start with: Lavender, bergamot, rose, clary sage, lemon, Roman chamomile, orange, sandalwood, rose-scented geranium, and pine.

  3. Pingback: The little-known reasons why you need to leave the narcissist ASAP! | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

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  5. Kim…check out Thistle Farms in Nashville…it is a wonderful effort that offers women who are escaping the sex trafficking industry to heal in every way. They make natural healing products from essential oils…The woman who started it has a beautiful story…just thought you might like the share…loving essential oils. AoA

    1. Kim Saeed

      Wow, thanks AoA! I will definitely check them out 😀

  6. And shampoo and conditioners and facial creams. I’ve slowly moved to organic and plant-based products. There is an affordable organic line carried by Ulta called Eclos.

    1. Kim Saeed

      Thanks for letting me know about the Ulta line! I’ve also stopped using personal care products with synthetic ingredients because they interrupt our endocrine system. Not to mention those nasty chemicals build up in our organs and cause disease.

      I’m glad you are using natural products…most of the people I know think I’m a crazy loon when I mention the mainstream stuff in the stores being so unhealthy 🙂

      1. Not crazy at all! It takes a conscious effort to make the switch. Most of us just grab products we’ve always used never thinking twice. But even mainstream grocery stores are carrying these products. Safeway even has a selection, but I find better variety going to Harris Teeter, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods or Dawson’s. Some things can be expensive, but I try to pay attention to sales and I also tend to be more conservative when I use them. Reprogramming our brains by changing even our grocery habits has a huge impact!! 🙂

  7. Great post! I spray lavender by my mat before practicing yoga at home. I also don’t wear perfume anymore, because it seems to reduce the positive effects of natural, essential oils. What has been your experience with perfume and other non-natural scents we often spray around our homes? Like febreeze…I stopped using it. 🙂

    1. Kim Saeed

      Paula, I don’t use any synthetic chemicals in my home anymore. No plug-ins (unless it’s an essential oil ball), no sprays, no candles (unless they’re natural). I will occasionally use perfume, but that’s about the extent of it. I prefer to use oils.

      If I want to freshen up the place, I use natural EO sprays and also use them in my diffuser. I even refuse to use bug spray, and instead use my own little concoctions made with EO’s. 🙂

      I stopped using the stuff you referenced like sprays and such because of all the harmful chemicals in them, which we then breathe in and absorb through our skin. Glad you liked the post! 😀

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