Narcissists and the “Let’s Be Friends” Scam
You and your Narcissistic partner have agreed that things just aren’t working out between the two of you.
You’ve heard all the reasons why you could never be an ideal companion for them.
In the middle of the discussion, he or she turns, gives you a pensive look and says, “I know we can’t be together, but I care about you a lot and don’t want to lose you completely. Can we just be friends?”
You might as well call their new supply and invite him or her to stay in the bedroom where you and the Narcissist sleep together. In fact, expect your bedroom to turn into community property as the Narcissist plays the both of you like fiddles.
Before we go into why their “Let’s be friends” suggestion is the most ridiculous scam ever, let’s examine why the two of you agreed that the relationship is over.
The Narcissist’s reasons for why it won’t work
- Although you’ve forgiven them for their numerous indiscretions, they don’t like hearing about how it’s hard on you and causes you emotional pain. Can you please stop bringing that up?
- They just can’t understand why you refuse to have a threesome with another girl. Other people do it all the time, just like everyone in the world is addicted to porn. Why can’t you stop being a prude? In fact, his last girlfriend went on Craigslist and found the perfect companion for their threesomes.
- So what if she forgot your birthday last year and went out with someone else? That was a year ago already.
- It’s not their fault you found an online dating profile on their phone. Why were you peeking in places you had no business doing so? That’s a direct violation of their privacy.
- On that note, that nude sext on their messenger was obviously sent from a wrong number. What are you so upset about?
- They have every right to take a breather when things get hairy in the relationship. Everyone needs their space, regardless if it’s two days or two months. Geez, get with the program.
- If you’d accepted their “fear of commitment”, things would probably have worked out.
- If you’d not gained that weight, they wouldn’t have needed to find another person for sex.
- You gave them that money. What are you complaining about now?
- Hey, you knew they were cheating and took them back, anyway. You don’t really have a leg to stand on…so what’s with the nuclear meltdowns?
Your reasons for why it won’t work
- You’re tired of being cheated on, made to feel unworthy, taken for granted, and mistreated… verbally, emotionally, and financially.
- You’re DONE with living the same week over and over like a nightmarish version of the movie, Groundhog Day,
- See #1. This is what will continue if you agree to remain friends.
As for why the “Let’s be friends” line is an epic scam, all you need to do is review the above reasons for why the relationship isn’t working. First of all, how can someone who’s mistreating you in such brutal ways ever make a good friend? In fact, why would you be willing to keep someone like that in your life? Sure, they may have given you the impression that they cared at some point in history, but would you treat your friends like that? Would you want your son or daughter dating someone like that?
I doubt it. And you shouldn’t settle for such trickery, either.
So, why does the Narcissist suggest being friends?
- Is it so the two of you can accept your differences, yet remain loyal comrades after having learned valuable relationship lessons? Nope! Not a chance.
- Perhaps so that you can give each other pointers on career moves and financial strategies? Dream on!
- So they can remain in the picture as a loving authority figure for your children? What a doozie!
The Narcissist makes this suggestion for one reason only. They don’t want to commit, yet they want to keep you around as an option–including in the bedroom–as well as maintain their influence and control over your life. They know full well that it would be impossible for you to move on, much less heal from their abuse, while they are still around. You simply cannot look at things in a different light while being right in the middle of a situation.
The only solution is to step outside your situation … and after a while, you will see things in a different light. You will learn more about yourself and what really happened in the relationship. It will feel like an awakening.
Yep, it’s that simple. If you are considering being “friends” with a person who considers you an option while treating you like an outcast from skid row, then you may want to investigate the reasons why you’re considering such an arrangement.
More importantly, you’ll want to entertain the idea that there are people out there in the world who would actually appreciate you, care about your dreams, and love you.